Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
