New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
