Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You took a bar mat shot.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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