Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize