The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
