just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Farmville is her only friend.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
