if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
