I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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