I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
