Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
