guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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