The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
