there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
