I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
