Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
