I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
