i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
