I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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