It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
