Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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