I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
