he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
