4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
