where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
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That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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