You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
