and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
