these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
