Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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