I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
