dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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