You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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