I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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