that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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