how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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