Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
