Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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