honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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