i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize