Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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