Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
