I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We left the knife in your bed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
