This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Farmville is her only friend.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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