How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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