just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
