Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize