what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
