the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
