Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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