loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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