Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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