somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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