Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
