please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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