We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
