oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
