he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
