you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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