she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
