Quick, to the slutcave!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
