This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize