Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
this just has baby written all over it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
