My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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