Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
